


Mistakes

by Dominatrix



Category: Elementary (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Hurt, Romance, spoilers for season finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 06:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dominatrix/pseuds/Dominatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His voice breaks at the same moment as his heart.<br/>She hears it, but she feels it even more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> This OS is inspired by this shot. There is something in Irene's eyes I wanted to figure out.  
> http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/elementary-sherlock-irene-adler-cbs.jpg

His voice breaks at the same moment as his heart. She hears it, but she feels it even more. It has been a while since she last allowed herself to feel the bitter taste of sentiment on the tip of her soul. The last time had proven her it was a mistake.

Of course it had been Holmes.

Holmes was her biggest – and to be faithful to herself, only – mistake she regretted making.

She had always lived with her choices, with what she did, what the wicked part of her mind suggested…And never had she looked back, savouring each single movement of her body, clenching together in fear and confusion.

She has to destroy him, she tells herself without really believing it is true. She cannot allow herself any weakness. Not even with him. Especially not with him. He knows. He knows everything about her – at least he thought he would. He was always so clever, and now that she knows that he is not aware who she really is, what her secret had been all the time, she feels he is dying from the inside. He may not know yet, but he is breaking apart already. She smells the decay on his gaze when he touches her, embraces her furiously as if he didn’t want to lose her again.

A small, tiny, almost non-existing part of her mind shines in amazement. She seems to have broken him, shattered his genius into glittering pieces, but he is fixed. Was. He is collapsing again, and she knows that he won’t ever be the same after this. She enjoys the feeling of him breaking down against her body like waves crashing against the shore.

His hand is caressing her head, just like back in London when she had planned to spend one night with him and then leave him forever. It was her own sentiment that prevented her from doing the right thing. Shooting his head off when he was still asleep and the morning sun still hid her view from what would happen. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. She had tasted his genius, and it had been so addictive that she couldn’t let go of him.

He really was her biggest mistake.

Right now he has his forehead pressed to hers, and she knows that his pain and desperation, his joy of finally having her in his arms again, is just as real as the paint splattered on her hands like fresh blood, just as real as the many, many scars on her back he had once traced with his tongue in an almost forgotten night.

It is just as real as the tiny part of her mind screaming, because although she tries to talk herself into it, she does not want to destroy Sherlock Holmes with all of her soul. A part of her, the part that looks into his careworn, abused face, the part that looks right into his cracked, bitter soul, wants to give the dream up that was Moriarty.

She wants to tell Sherlock the truth as she recognizes the shadows below his eyes as the result of many sleepless nights. She knows he can’t sleep without her being near. He has told her often enough. She wants to tell him everything and hope that the curious feeling he holds for her are stronger than the doubt in his emotional sanity when he stays with her.

She really wants to.

But she can’t.

And she is more sorry for this than she would have ever believed.


End file.
